Edward Cullen

 [VOICEMAIL To Carlisle & Esme Cullen]

[Private Entry]

Hello, Esme. Hello, Carlisle. It's Edward. I just wanted to let you both know that I am alive. I am incredibly saddened about what happened to Bella. I am traveling, and haven't settled down anywhere yet. But, I can not forgive myself for letting it all happen. If it weren't for me, she would have never been hurt. I will try to keep in touch with you while I make a new life for myself.  Carlisle, thank you for taking care of Bella when she was hurt. I hope you are well. I miss you both.

 [Private to Alice]
This is the hardest thing  I have ever had to do. I feel like this is all my fault. I put Bella in a compromised position, and I will never forgive myself. Im traveling right now, but I haven't settled down anywhere. 
I just had to get away. Maybe Bella will find someone who won't put her life at risk. Please tell the family that I am alright. 
I just don't know what to do anymore. 

[Private to Hakkai ]

 Happy Birthday, Hakkai! It was great seeing you at the wedding. 

 It's Bella's birthday tomorrow & I am so excited! Happy birthday, love!

[Private Entry]

 I had such a wonderful time at the wedding. Piper & Leo looked truly happy, and the reception was beautiful. I had a nice time with my sister (as a date), but did miss my lovely girlfriend. I wonder if I will ever experience a wedding like that. 

This will be my "senior year", but I can not stop thinking about what will happen after graduation. Where will Bella & I be? Will we go to the same college? I already know that this year is going to go very quickly. The seniors are out before the underclassmen, anyway. This is quite a confusing time.  

 Piper & Leo, 

May your wedding day be the beginning of an everlasting happiness. May your home be filled with joy. 
I wish you a lifetime of love & luck. 

~Edward Cullen

Filtered to:Piper

I see that your birthday is coming up. Do you have any special plans? 
I hope that you have a great birthday!!

~Edward

 Well, Im back in the real world now. I went camping for a week in the mountains of Washington. I did some exploring and soul searching. I did a lot of writing while I was gone, and found that I really enjoy poetry. I was also reading the poems of David Whyte, and they tied in nicely with my trip. His poems are all about nature, finding ones self, and about the complexity of life. Here is a poem that I read while I was camping that really resonated with me. 

The Opening of Eyes

That day I saw beneath dark clouds 
the passing light over the water
and I heard the voice of the world speak out,
I knew then, as I had before
life is no passing memory of what has been
nor the remaining pages in a great book
waiting to be read.

It is the opening of eyes long closed.
It is the vision of far off things
seen for the silence they hold.
It is the heart after years
of secret conversing
speaking out loud in the clear air.

It is Moses in the desert
fallen to his knees before the lit bush.
It is the man throwing away his shoes
as if to enter heaven
and finding himself astonished,
opened at last,
fallen in love with solid ground.

  -- David Whyte

 I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I will not be posting for the next week. I will be camping in the mountains of Washington from Sunday through Friday. I will be back for the 4th of July. 

I hope everyone has a great week. Bella, I will miss you. Alice, take care of Bella for me. 

See everyone soon!

 Filtered to: Alice
Alice, Im sure you knew I was going to get these for you. But, I picked these up at the antique store in town. Thank you for being an awesome sister!





~Edward

 

Filtered from: Alice & Bella

 

 So, I was looking at jewelry for Bella in an antique store. And, I didn't find anything that particularly stood out to me. But, I did find many pieces that I thought Alice would like. She reminds me of a little girl who loves to play dress up. She enjoys shopping, and I hope she doesn't figure out which one(s) I settle on. 

Well, Im going to post a picture of each one. Please leave comments as to which one(s) would be best. I might just get them all!(A)
(B)
(C)
(D)
(E)

I favor A & C because they are so different. She already has a lot of necklaces, but not many rings / broaches. For all my friends out there in cyber-space, please comment on the letter that you like the best. Thank you for your help!

 My birthday is coming up (tomorrow), and it's strange that yet another year has passed. So much has happened in the past year. I've finished my junior year of high school, I've met a wonderful girl who I have fallen quite hard for, and I've done exceedingly well in all of my classes. I don't even want to think what my life would be like if Bella hadn't moved to Forks. Everyone in my family had a significant other this year except me (until now). 

So, what would I like to do for my birthday? As long as I get to see my family & spend the day with Bella, that's all that matters. I think that she & Alice have something planned, but Im not sure. Whatever their idea is, Im sure that they will go all out! I'll just have to wait until tomorrow!

 I can't believe another year has flown by! Here's to you, sis!

xoxo
Edward

 The school year is almost over, and I am itching for it to be summer. I can't wait to spend my days with Bella. I would love to take a road trip with her. Washington is a beautiful state, and I want to put some miles on my Volvo. 

Finals are coming up, and Im not too worried. Im doing well in all of my classes. I have a paper due in English that I am putting off. I know I'll get it in on time, I just really don't feel like working on it right now. I think I'll start it tomorrow. 

[Filtered to Bella]
 
Bella,
Would you like to explore Washington with me for a week or so this summer? It would be great to get away. We have to figure out what we would tell Charlie, though. Let me know what you think!

 Bella was not in school today. She was sick and didn't need me to pick her up. The day was so much longer without her being there. She really does make a difference in my days. 


 [Private Entry]

Prom is coming up and I could not be happier. I have the most beautiful date in the school. I can not wait for Alice to play dress up with Bella. We have been spending a lot of time together and it will be a treat to spend junior prom with her. We will see what the future holds.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

 Sam, 

I know Im a day late, but Happy Birthday, man! I hope it was a good one. Heck, just celebrate this whole weekend!

Edward

 So, this week was really long. High school is so monotonous. I can not wait to graduate so that I can start college. There can be so much catty behavior in this school. I truly believe that the only reason I haven't flipped out on anyone is because of Bella. This week she took me grocery shopping. She wanted to make some treats for friends, and we got to spend some fun time together. She truly makes every day so much more exciting. 

I look forward to what the future brings for her & I. 

Bella met everyone today, and was afraid that my family wouldn't like her. She hit it off with everyone pretty well, except for Rosalie.  Rosalie was quite upset because Esme & the rest of the family had made dinner, and Bella had already eaten. It was alright in the end, because Bella & I were able to spend some alone time in my room. We talked about music, books, and had a wonderful time. 

I am going to invite her to a baseball game with my family. It may be a bit rainy, but that's ok. We love to play during a storm. It gives Emmett a chance to show off, and it gives Alice a chance to blow us all away with her pitching. Given that Bella is quite clumsy, she may want to sit out the game. But, who knows! She may surprise me with some hidden talents. 

[Private to Alice ]

I have developed such strong feelings for Bella. She is so beautiful, in such a simple way. I hope that I can be careful around her, and not do anything to bring attention to myself or my family. She is so important to me, and I would never want to hurt her. Each day, Im spending more and more time with her. She makes me feel alive. She has brought back something in me that has been missing for quite a long time. I can't wait to see her again. 

<img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/icon_protected.gif" border="0"> <b>[Filtered to Alice]</b> 

So, I am getting very nervous about taking Bella to the meadow. Once we get to the end of the road, we need to hike for 5 miles. She can be quite clumsy, and I don't want her go get hurt. I hope that Bella is able to hike for that long, and that she doesn't freak out when I show her why I can't go out into the sun. Alice has good things to say about the future that Bella & I may have, but I am very apprehensive. How could her feelings for me really be true? I am designed to pull people in, make them trust me, keep them interested, etc. Can I even trust myself? I do not want to hurt her, but the scent of her is so strong. I have never been so tempted in all my years. I am trusting myself that everything will be alright. It has to be. . .